Monday Musings: The innie popped outie

My belly button popped out at about 23 weeks. I know this is a very common aspect of pregnancy, but my mom’s never popped out (or so she claims) so I was sort of expecting mine to remain an innie as well. I found this side effect of my gigantic growing belly to be somewhat traumatic.

Now, before I go any further, let me just be clear about something: I have no issue with outie belly buttons. My friends have them, my nieces have them, I think they’re cute as buttons. But that’s because natural outie’s look like they’re supposed to be outies. Innies that pop outies because of the sheer pressure of a rapidly expanding uterus, absolutely do not. Mine looks like a cross between a bird’s beak and a third nipple smack dab in the middle of my abdomen. Oh, and I apparently had some sort of mole at the very bottom of my innie – one that was never supposed to see the light of day but has made its debut and it’s scary AF. But that’s not even the biggest issue at hand. Afterall, I’m not babymooning on the beaches of Bali (unfortunately) – there is no one, besides my oh-so-lucky husband, that’s privy to my bare swollen belly.

The issue, for me, is that I don’t feel like there is anything to stop the rest of my insides from continuing to pop out. Like, how out there, could this outtie get? Whenever I laugh or sneeze, I feel the need to hold my finger over my belly button, like a plug, for fear of the pressure expelling more of me out there. Improbable? Probably. Impossible? As I’ve come to learn with pregnancy, ya just never know. There’s a plethora of weird little symptoms and side effects that I had never even heard about until my body started revealing them to me. So, it would not shock me, if innards seeping out into outie pockets, was secretly a thing too.

Wish me luck.

Abbey D.

PS – Will my belly button go back in after baby? All the experts seem to say, “Yes, your belly button will get back to its regular position a few months after delivery, although it may look a little stretched out or “lived in.” Cool. Real, cool. I can’t wait to see my new lived in belly button. Fingers crossed I get the ‘only barely lived in’ model, versus the ‘this is an original 1920’s bungalow that has been well loved and is in need of some TLC.’ Is there such thing as a belly button tuck?

PPS – if you’re reading this post and are in high school or college or have kids of that age (which I realize are neither of our key demographics, but whatever) and are considering a belly button piercing (is that even a thing anymore??) let it be known that belly button piercing holes do NOT completely close up and disappear like ear or nose piercings do. They stick around and stretch with your belly to serve as a reminder of not only the bad decisions of your youth, but also of the days when you could eat whatever you wanted and drink five nights a week and still have a flat tummy. With an intact innie.